Biblical scholars have argued for centuries over the fine details of what they believe is God's message to mankind. Are certain passages to be taken literally or metaphorically. Is that bit an allegory, a metaphor, a fact?
One thing that I think I am right in saying they all agree on however is that when on the seventh day God rested he did it paddling in the sea at Morecambe with his jeans rolled up to his knees and a Mr. Whippy 99 in his hand. (although I believe there is some debate over whether it was actually in Skegness and whether he had chocolate or raspberry syrup)
I think the moral we can all draw from this little tale is that everyone, even fictional characters like God, loves ice cream. If you don't like ice cream, and you stumbled on this blog thinking it was some sort of tribute to the Raekwon the Chef song I apologise in advance for the lack of references to things having 'a cherry on top'. This is a blog dedicated purely to ice cream; I will not be exploring confectionery/boobs metaphors. I'll leave that to the experts. While we are on the subject though, is the line in the song "I jism like a giant, break wombs out of their sockets" the least romantic in the history of music? It has to be, surely? Preposterous bravado and a stunning ignorance of basic female anatomy is not exactly a winning combination when trying to appear attractive to women, especially if you insist on likening their breasts to frozen desserts.
Where was I? Oh yes...my blog.
As you can probably already gather I am not afraid to go out on a tangent occasionally. Most of the time though I will stick to the subject in hand. Lovely delicious ice cream. I will be visiting ice cream parlours, eating ice creams, photographing ice creams, analysing, debating, deconstructing and eating ice creams (I know I said eating twice there but that is the most important thing)
I will also be rating ice cream. To the right you will see a column that soon will be sporting a chart of the best ice creams as rated by this blog. Something to look forward to eh?
The Big Taste Test
All ice creams, sorbets, frozen yogurts, kulfis, glacés, ices and the like that come in contact with the blog will be rated and reviewed. Each of them will recieve a score out of a possible 100 points. 10 points are available in each of the following 10 (slightly ridiculous) categories:
1. Initial taste
2. Continuing flavour
3. End/after taste
4. Texture
5. Body/Spoonability
6. Colour
7. Appearance/Desirability
8. Packaging/Presentation
9. How easy is it to stop eating?
10. How likely is it I will buy it again?
1. Initial taste
2. Continuing flavour
3. End/after taste
4. Texture
5. Body/Spoonability
6. Colour
7. Appearance/Desirability
8. Packaging/Presentation
9. How easy is it to stop eating?
10. How likely is it I will buy it again?
The Leader Board
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- 4
- 5
- 6
- 7
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- 9
- 10
Do you remember your Dad's Brown Bread ice cream? It was delicious and makes me think a further category to judge by might be element of surprise as it sounds crap! He served it in an ice bowl with little flowers frozen in it. I still have the recipe if you would like to give it a go
ReplyDeleteSo. Really, Ben, did I not recognise you at the Glittering Awards because you are actually an enormous great fat heffalump of a bloke gorging on cheese and ice cream? And you are actually using the image of your slim and handsome friend for your blogs without his knowledge or permission? Is that it? Am I correct? Thought so.
ReplyDelete